What is A Family Affair about?
A Family Affair is screenwriter Carrie Solomon’s message in a bottle to future generations for when they hit their 20s. And for the older people, it reminds you we often put up boundaries and barriers that become self-limiting. It’s okay to take those down and open up your world, to enjoy life rather than just living it for others.
Cast
- Zara Ford – Joey King
- Brooke Harwood – Nicole Kidman
- Chris Cole – Zac Efron
- Leila Ford – Kathy Bates
- Eugenie – Liza Koshy
- Stella – Sherry Cola
- Written by – Carrie Solomon
- Directed by – Richard LaGravenese
A message to Gen Z (and the generation after that, and after that, etc.)
So I didn’t necessarily like A Family Affair. Especially because I didn’t feel there was anything worth writing about. I went to bed. Next day, still didn’t feel any inspiration. So I went for a walk. On the walk, I realized the only thing that stood out to me was that Nicole Kidman is Gen X, Zac Efron is a Millennial, and Joey King is Gen Z. And isn’t it interesting that, for the most part, the Gen X and Millennial characters are relatively thoughtful and grounded, while the Gen Z character is a hurricane of emotions and bad decisions. Is there something to that?
I told myself that I’m reaching and that if I take this angle I’d have to be clear it’s just an interesting way to look at A Family Affair rather than the intended way. But then I Googled “A Family Affair gen z” and look at what I found, from a Netflix article:
Navigating the treacherous waters of early adulthood is a struggle screenwriter Carrie Solomon knows all too well. In fact, she was exactly Zara’s age [24] when she first came up with the idea that eventually became A Family Affair. “Millennials at the time were getting a lot of flack about being whiny and complain-y and not really putting their heads down and working,” she tells Tudum. “I remember simultaneously being frustrated by that and being like, ‘I do make it a lot about myself.’ I wanted to show how painful it can be to come to that realization.”
So it turns out the thing I thought was me reaching was actually the entire motivating factor for Carrie Solomon to write the movie. Even though Solomon was thinking about Millennials rather than Gen Z, what she’s getting at is a bit more universal.
Every generation has that coming of age period where they’re finally in their twenties and are adults and can do whatever they want except can’t because the world is complicated and change doesn’t happen so easily or quickly. There’s a period of running into walls and begging society to make obvious corrections that would fix everything. You feel so right and all the old people seem ancient, out of touch, and pathetically complacent. Why won’t they just give you the keys to the kingdom and go take a nap in La-Z Boy?
It’s the climax of teenage rebellion. Which is an actual documented part of adolescent social development. It makes sense. As children, we’re constantly told what to do and how to do it. Mostly for our own safety. As teenagers, we have more agency and want to prove we can be independent and have control over our lives. Hence the rebellion phase. What makes the 20s particularly maddening is that the world becomes a lot larger.
Up through high school, life is mostly local. Then many go to college and life expands but you’re still in the bubble of campus. Once you’re out of college and a working professional (or trying to be) there’s so much more going on. You’re affected by political systems, socio-economic systems, cultural norms, counter-culture, and your parents aren’t just your parents but actual people with flaws, and your friends also have a million things going on, and it’s all quite a lot.
Baby Boomers rebelled against the previous generation by being hippies. Gen X rebelled by not caring about anything and kind of vanishing. Millennials rebelled by making everything about them.
I found an article from Time Magazine from 2013 and it made me laugh. It’s called “Millennials: The Me Me Me Generation”. And one of the first stats it throws out is: The incidence of narcissistic personality disorder is nearly three times as high for people in their 20s as for the generation that’s now 65 or older, according to the National Institutes of Health; 58% more college students scored higher on the narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982.
Okay, this is another gem: They’re so convinced of their own greatness that the National Study of Youth and Religion found the guiding morality of 60% of millennials in any situation is that they’ll just be able to feel what’s right.
We’re still in the early stages of Gen Z, so this may change, but they seem to have rebelled by caring about actual issues. Which is a lot more noble. The thing is, no matter how noble the rebellion, it’s fueled by an idealism that’s speeding along winding roads in the middle of a snowstorm. It was true for Baby Boomer hippies, it was true for Gen X grunge, it was true for Millennial political zeal, and it will be true for Gen Z and the already named “Generation Alpha” and whoever comes after that.
Experience always tempers idealism. Which isn’t a bad thing. Just like how in Inside Out, Joy realizes that Sadness isn’t awful but actually helpful. Experience means you might lose some of your zeal but you make up for it in thoughtfulness and practical action. Which is essentially what we see with Zara in A Family Affair.
Zara’s passion causes a lot of issues, as she self-righteously overreacts to pretty much everything and only views what’s happening in terms of how it affects her and what it means to her. She causes Chris and Brooke to break up because she saw a box in a bag and jumped to the worst conclusion she could then made a horrifically big deal about it. Something she ultimately feels bad for and has to correct. At the end of the movie, Zara realizes life can’t be about her and what she thinks is best, not all the time. She’s not the main character but part of an ecosystem of people who all have different things going on in their lives. And the more she can be aware of that and appreciate it, the better daughter, friend, business partner, and person she’ll be.
Honestly, that’s something all of us, no matter our age, would benefit from remembering.
Remember, it’s okay to live.
While Zara needs a few more guardrails in her life, Chris and Brooke have too many. Chris lets his stardom limit what he can do, where he can go, and who he has in his life. While the death of Brooke’s husband brought her life to a halt. The resulting self-limiting mindset has left both characters existentially stunted. Neither feels like they’re in a place to live on their own terms. Chris because stardom feels impossible to navigate. And Brooke because she’s still so anchored to the final complicated years with her husband and placing Zara’s needs ahead of her own.
It becomes easy to, as the years go by, fall into routine and accept situations as immutable. “This is just how it is.” But it doesn’t have to be. Chris doesn’t have to let being a famous actor define the limits of his life. And Brooke can be more than a grieving widow. There’s a time for that. But it doesn’t have to be an eternal sentence.
So A Family Affair can be a poignant reminder that even in your thirties, or your fifties, you’re still growing and changing and that’s more than okay. You can still evolve for the better and start new chapters, new eras, and discover new yous.
Is A Family Affair based on a true story?
It’s inspired by things the screenwriter experienced. And the dynamic between Zara and Chris was inspired by Pam Abdy. Pam’s currently the CEO of Warner Brothers but back in the day she was the assistant to Danny DeVito. This is from the film’s director, Richard Lagravenese: Watching the two of them was such a joy because Pam never let Danny get away with it just because he was a movie star, and he loved that about her. That’s why he loved her. And so, that dynamic of why Zara speaks back to Chris and why he loves her is because of that dynamic. That was inspired by them.
But that’s the limit of the “true” story.
Was Chris really going to break up with Brooke? Do Brooke and Chris stay together?
Chris admits that he had thought about ending the relationship because it was his habit and he’s scared to commit to anyone or anything. But he actually never intended to go through with it. In my experience, that kind of self-sabotaging is pretty common, especially when you’re afraid if you’re good enough or if the other person will truly love you. You try to push them away before you can actually commit and get hurt.
So, no, Chris wasn’t going to break up with Brooke. Zara overreacted because she was angry at Chris, angry at the situation, and looking for any excuse to protect her mom by destroying the relationship.
And, yes, we’re to expect that Brooke and Chris stay together. Well, at least give a relationship a try. With rom-coms like this, I think the expectation is a happily-ever-after. But the important thing is that both realized they can have more in their life. Chris is capable of a real relationship (even going to grocery stores). And Brooke can love again.
We know from the one-year time jump that the two have made it at least 365 days. That’s a good sign.
Is Zara a nepo baby?
Kind of. Zara’s grandmother (Kathy Bates’s character) is a well-known editor. And both of her parents were published authors who had enough success that they live in an ocean-front house in Los Angeles. So, like, yeah, she’s a bit of a nepo kid. Or at least as privileged as many other nepo kids.
Which makes rooting for her a bit difficult. She’s 24 and irate that the biggest star in Hollywood hasn’t let her become a producer after a few years. There’s an article from 2015 from this guy who loves statistics and he found that the average age of full producers of top Hollywood films between 1994 and 2014 was 52 years old.
“The genres with the youngest film producers were documentaries (44.2 years old), horror (45.6) and comedy (45.9). The oldest producers work on war films (52.1 years old), historical films (51.9) and biographies (50.9)…. I did find that Associate Producers tended to be a lot younger (average age: 41)…”
There are definitely producers in their 20s, usually late-twenties. But they almost always start with shorts and independent movies and work their way to larger and larger features. Zara is upset she isn’t producing movies for one of the most popular actors in the world. Which is just..kind of wild. And might be played off like a joke. Except at the end of the film we see her as a 25-year-old producer with a big office and seemingly successful. It’s a choice that might cause some to roll their eyes. But it gets at the aspirational message of the film and is, narratively, Zara’s reward for learning her lesson.
Is A Family Affair a Christmas movie?
I mean…Christmas happens in the movie. So if that’s all you need to consider it a Christmas movie, then be my guest. But I for one would not count it.
Is Icarus Rush a real franchise?
No. Icarus Rush is completely made up but is clearly spoofing how insane the superhero genre has become. There’s a pointed contrast between the ham-fistedness of Cole’s franchise and the actual literary beauty of the Icarus myth as described by Brooke.
