You just finished Baby Reindeer and now you’re wondering “Why did it end like that?” You’re in luck, because I have the answer.
Throughout the last episode, Donny (Richard Gadd) talks about how he’s trying to understand Martha (Jessica Gunning). It’s one of the reasons he keeps listening to her voicemails. Yes, part of that is because she made him feel good and he misses her. But, it’s mostly because he’s obsessed with trying to figure out her motivation. On the deepest level. Not just “She liked Donny” but the root of it all. What made Martha “Martha”? He says that he “devoted my life to unpacking the mystery of Martha. Why she was the way that she was.”
Midway through, we see Donny sit down at his laptop. He has a Word document open with the timeline of events for police. He deletes everything there. Looks at the blank page. Then types the very first words we hear in the TV show: “I felt sorry for her. That’s the feeling I felt.” That moment is key because it signals that he’s starting to put together the very show we’re watching. Thinking about it, how to do it.
And that partially explains his obsession with Martha. He is, as the soon-to-be author of a work, trying to unlock the story by figuring out the main character. That’s why he has the crazy conspiracy-style wall about Martha. He’s focusing on who she is, what she did, etc., hoping that will let him understand her psyche. But it doesn’t.
Until the very end. When he sits at that random bar and hears the voicemail that’s the key to Martha’s soul.
That’s the thing I’ve always wondered, really. Why people meet, why people fall in love, that kind of thing. And I supposed that brings me to the baby reindeer thing. As I think you’re probably wondering. Basically, I had this wee cuddly toy, when I was young. Went with me everywhere. Earliest memory I have, I think, was Christmastime. This old photo of me, sitting with this paper hat on my head and this baby reindeer beside me. Anyway, this reindeer was this cuddly, fluffy thing. It had big lips, huge eyes, and the cutest wee bum. I still have it to this day. It was the only good thing about my childhood. I’d hug it. When they fought. And they fought a lot, you know? Well, you are the spit of that reindeer. The same nose. Same eyes. Same cute wee bum. It means so much to me. You. You mean so much to me. I’ve gotta go.
You see how hard that hits Donny. To the point they even darken the room around him to signal how intensely he’s listening. Sobbing into his hands, quite loudly, quite guiltily, Donny draws the attention of the bartender, who shows kindness, concern. “Are you okay?” Donny shakes it off. Then realizes he didn’t bring his wallet and can’t pay for the drink. The bartender cuts the awkwardness short by being a nice guy. “Don’t worry. It’s on me.” And then it hits Donny.
Remember how the show opened? Martha comes into the bar. She looks sad, confused. And Donny says “I felt sorry for her.” He’s the kind bartender who witnesses a stranger in distress. A stranger who can’t pay. And he treats her kindly by giving her a cup of tea for free. She looks up at him.
The show ends with Donny being in Martha’s spot. The emotional one. The sad one. Who a stranger feels bad for and takes pity on. This serves two purposes. It further cements the connection between Donny and Martha, something the show had hinted at for a while. They’re each broken people, often lying to themselves, lying to others, because they’re scared of the truth. While he spent so much of the show thinking he was better than Martha, at the end, he’s in a similar position that she was. Emotionally, existentially. It’s one of the reasons Donny not only reconnected with his abuser but agreed to work for him.
That’s not to say Donny will stalk like Martha stalked. It shows more how easily it is for someone to let their baggage get the better of them and drive them to the point where they’re desperate for a bit of kindness.
And that’s the breakthrough Donny has. It’s the culmination of his “I need to understand Martha to write about Martha”-subplot that wove through the last half of the episode. He has the background information and motivation—Martha was a lonely girl with angry parents and no one to save her. But just experienced what it’s like to feel so broken down only for someone to be nice to you right when you need it the most. Now that he’s quite literally on the other side of the bar, he can finally put himself in her shoes. And thus he goes on to write Baby Reindeer.
That’s why Baby Reindeer ends the way that it ends.
